I am obsessed with Talk of the Nation with Neal Conan on NPR. When I heard a story on media strategist Frank Luntz back in March of 2011, I immediately added new components to my course lecture material. Conan and Luntz analyze commercials, campaigns, and advertisements and words/phrases that work and those that don’t. Luntz also talks about political rhetoric and successful business speak. He is BRILLIANT.
Here were my top three favorite quotes from Luntz in the interview:
“Without that inherent accuracy, then even the best words will still fail. But you can have the best product, the best service, the best argument in a debate, but without the effective words, you still lose. In the end, you need good principles and good language if you are to succeed.” (Source)
“The perfect opening is the word ‘imagine’ because ‘imagine’ allows you to communicate in the eyes and in the vision of the listener.” (Source)
“You only get one shot to make a good first impression, and what you say first colors everything that follows. It will either cast a shadow over your purpose or provide a foundation under it.” (Source)
The entire story is about 30 minutes, and you MUST listen to the entire thing. It is fascinating, and Luntz is a compelling speaker with amazing ideas. Listen here. Purchase Luntz’s book here. I haven’t yet read the book. Listening to this interview for the tenth (or eleventh… or twelfth) time is compelling me to put it on the top of my library list.
Cognitive restructuring means changing your thoughts. It’s hard! Changing my negative thoughts into positive ones remains a huge struggle for me, and I only hope to grow stronger in this area.
For most people, public speaking is an area where we must practice cognitive restructuring. On the first day of each new course, my students face the same doubts, and their negative self talk reinforces their fears. These are the five most common negative thoughts I hear from students, and here’s how to change those thoughts:
“No one is going to be able to understand me because I have an accent!”
I have an accent. Even though I’m from Florida, I was born and raised in the county that bordered both Alabama and Georgia. My Southern accent is extremely heavy. As a presentation instructor, I’ve heard all kinds of accents. My students have come from Europe, the Caribbean Islands, the Middle East, Asia, Central America, and Africa. Though their accents were distinct, one thing remained consistent: we could understand all of them. We all vary in the pronunciation of certain words, so as long as the language is the same (in this case, of course, English), nothing prevents an audience from understanding the presenter. In fact, an accent can help hook your audience in your introduction, as it’s novel, fresh, and engaging. An audience really only hears the accent for the first portion of the speech. Then, if the speech’s content is strong (which it should be!), the focus goes from the accent to the message itself.
Instead of the negative self talk, use cognitive restructuring to tell yourself this: “My audience wants to hear what I have to say, and they’ll focus on my content as soon as the novelty of my accent wears off.”
“I’m going to go blank!”
For the classroom setting, when a speech involves a grade, this fear is a big one. It shouldn’t be! If you’ve prepared your material and thoroughly researched your topic, the fear should subside. If not, take down some brief notes (one or two words per line). Next step: practice, practice, and practice some more. You should practice your speech at least three to five times.
Say this out loud before your speech: “I am prepared. I’ve researched my topic, I have notes taken down, and I’ve practiced many times. If I forget to say something minor, it’s not the end of the world because my audience won’t know… after all, they haven’t read my script.”
“I say ‘um’ too much!”
Shame on most of you public speaking teachers out there! Why oh why have you terrified my sweet students about their use of ‘um’ and ‘uh’ ? As you read this blog post, some evil public speaking teacher somewhere is counting off one point for every “uh” a student says in his speech. Unreasonable. Nonfluencies are common in public speaking. You can listen to any of Barack Obama’s speeches and hear the use of “um” or “uh,” and it doesn’t take away from the meaning of the presentation. In fact, some argue Obama does it purposefully. For the most part, nonfluencies go unnoticed unless they are pronounced. If you say “um” seven times in a 10 minute speech, chances are not a single soul in the audience noticed. If you say “um” 777 times in a 10 minute speech, we have a problem.
“I have a slight stutter.” ”My left eye twitches!” ”I have leg cramps, so I can’t walk around.” ”I say rely on the word ‘like’ in my speeches.” ”My hands shake a little bit.”
Most of us have some sort of delivery signature. Mine is using “y’all” too frequently and moving my hands like an airplane flight attendant. Don’t worry about it! Again, instead of the negative self talk, repeat this: “No one else will notice my minor delivery issues unless they are pronounced.”
“I can’t handle the tension of giving a speech!”
Yes, you can. Think about the worst part of a presentation… It isn’t the speech itself; it’s all that time you spend dreading, worrying, and engaging in the negative self talk expressed above. If you can stop your mind from the negativity, you can cope with the tension in a positive fashion. You could listen to your favorite music, do a few warm-up exercises, or watch something funny to take your mind off of the act of speaking.
The biggest thing to keep in mind is that you have to put your speech into perspective. At most, your speech will take a few minutes out of your life, and the average person’s life contains 34,790,757 minutes. If you don’t do so well with your speech, it’s just one small part of your life. If you dwell on it, other minutes will be wasted. Coping with anxiety and fear is a wonderful skill and life lesson to learn, so take this as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement.
Here is what I would suggest thinking instead of focusing on the tension you feel: “This speech will only take a few minutes, and it will be over soon.”
“What if I look stupid?”
I can tell you this: we all look stupid. We all trip and fall, knock over things, discover a booger hanging out of our nose, and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. It’s human nature! Dwelling on the embarrassing moments won’t do a thing for you, but learning how to cope with those awkward events will make you a much more healthy human being.
Don’t believe me? Check out this prime example:
Instead of all of that negative self talk about looking foolish, remind yourself of this:
Duarte divides the ecosystem into three sections: delivery, visual story, and message to explain that each of the three carry equal importance in a presentation. This is a difficult concept to teach my students, as they often feel that delivery alone can carry a speech. The best presentations occur when all three align.
When it comes to delivery, I haven’t found a more comprehensive, easy-to-understand, direct, and TRUE text than Garr Reynolds’ The Naked Presenter: Delivering Powerful Presentations With or Without Slides. As corny as it sounds, when I read this book last year, it completely changed my life. My delivery style and teaching methods changed for the better, and the text allowed me to be more of my authentic self to then better connect with my audience: my students. I previously blogged about Reynolds’ text here.
When it comes to visual story, no one explains it better than Duarte. slide:ology breaks visual presentation down so simply that you can’t help but develop better slides after reading it. Other great places to turn for help with visual presentation include Garr Reynolds’ Presentation Zen Design, anything David McCandless touches (especially his TED Talk and designs), and my personal slide guru, Chiara Ojeda. Check out her new blog, Tweak Your Slides, here.
Message is complicated, so the more you can study, the better your content will become. Great places to study include TED and Duarte’s YouTube Channel. Blogs you should peruse include Phil Waknell’s Phil Presents, Guy Kawasaki’s How to Change the World, and Presentation Advisors. I also learn a lot about message by watching my students’ presentations. The more you can immerse yourself in public speaking culture, the more you learn the dos and don’ts, the common mistakes people make, and the tricks that work every time. Two wonderful places to find public speaking culture in your area are PechaKucha and TEDx.
My obsession with design definitely manifests itself in our new home. My husband and I purchased our very first house near downtown Orlando this summer, so the design ideas I’ve been eyeing for years are finally being actualized.
The idea board below depicts what I am trying to do with our living room. The room is nearly finished, and I will post pictures when we have it perfectly styled.
When I saw the Sex and the City movie three years ago, I fell in love with Carrie Bradshaw’s updated apartment wall color, so this was the biggest inspiration behind our living room. The color is Benjamin Moore’s Electric Blue, and it is absolutely gorgeous with white trim, white curtains, and white furniture around the room. The focal point is an enormous former picture frame that Mitchell and I painted white and transformed into a mirror.
The room has two sets of windows, so it feels really open, bright, and welcoming. After painting the room blue, we decided to keep with a cottage-y feel. We utilized a lot of vintage pieces as well as natural colors and textures. Raised by a shabby chic mother, I can’t help but feel her style rub off a little bit. There are also touches of our childhood home. Mitchell and I are from the same country bumpkin hometown, so we included two gorgeous black-and-white pictures on the wall of scenes from Jackson County: an antebellum home with mossy oak trees and a sleepy street view of historic downtown.
While I don’t pretend to know a lot about home design, I do know what I love. Three of my favorite home design blogs are Decor8Blog, House of Turquoise, and YoungHouseLove. I also frequent Pintrest. Find me here and check out my idea boards and favorite things.
